Scribbles from my notebook

I apologize for my absence on here. I’ve officially turned 30 and have been destroyed by my time at work.

Human nature always has and always will baffle and depress me. We are capable of both incredible compassion and unimaginable cruelty. You’ll see a lot of my inner turmoil in these little pieces I put out for the world to see and judge.

Without further ado:

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She pulled the covers up over her knees as the draft had become a bit annoying. Her coffee was sitting ready on her bedside table at the base of the lone light left on in her apartment. She’d prepared for this evening with several reading choices and a few movies queued up on her tablet. 6:45am would mercifully come in a few hours and end the evening’s goings on, so she could get back to relative safety.

These preparations were absolutely necessary. Doing anything at all was better than letting herself slip into sleep again. She couldn’t.

Her therapist wouldn’t be happy, but he can be happy once he figured out why she kept having these dark nights. Nights stuck somewhere between consciousness and hell. To feel paralyzed while seeing and hearing the worst things imaginable.

One night? Sure, everyone’s had those. Two nights? Well, that’s odd but not unheard of. Six in a row? Something was wrong. Long term problems be damned, she couldn’t do that another night.

Tonight was night three of staying up, and she was starting to get the hang of it. Have a low-dose of caffeine at the ready, and enough mental stimulation with reading or movies to just maintain. She made sure not to move around too much, as her body needed to “rest”, or just simply not do anything. First night had been a mistake to walk around the city and so forth as she was exhausted and could hardly function at work the next day. But the second night was great after just remaining relatively still and keeping her mind engaged in conscious tasks.

She’d done the research, she could stay awake for several nights in a row and completely avoid REM sleep that way, which was where she suspected she was falling prey to whatever this was. Night four would be for the complete shutdown sleep, fueled by Benadryl and some chamomile she’d gotten.

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I need to find a way to punch this up a bit, I’m not liking how slowly we’re meeting the character and how she’s coming off….wrong somehow. But we’ll meet her tormentors sometime soon.